Odd

I am not the most confident person in the world.

I mess stuff up and I am good at the messes I make.

This is not something I am proud of. The messes I make are sloppy. They are embarrassing. They are things I like to avoid.

So in most situations, such as conversations, activities, and life in general, I try very hard to proceed with caution.

This sometimes makes my conversations awkward, my activities bumpy, and my life squiggly.

Make sense? You see in proceeding with caution, I am still making mini messes.

So what is to be done with this sloppy, mess making girl?

I am in a new place. I came here not knowing a single person. This makes me even more cautious. As you well know, full blown Melissa is hardly ever a good idea.

I was given so much advice, and told what to do and not to do, that my movements became awkward to the point of ridiculous. I am used to living on the edge of ridiculous, but really that's just sad. And it is painful for people to watch.

So now I am attempting to be myself. I am being the girl God is constantly working on. I think that I am making less messes. My speech is becoming less stuttery. My thoughts still aren't always flowing in order...they jumble upon exit of my mouth, but I am improving. I hope.

I am still leaving words out of blog posts...

but no one is perfect.

The passage that I find most encouraging right now is 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

26 For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, 29 so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. 30 And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, 31 so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

Well...there ya go....more rambley thoughts that don't really make sense. Ah well.