Dust

Change.

No one likes it. Ok, you might, but normal people don't...usually.

Change.

Some is good, most is hard. For me anyways.

I have gotten to the point where I don't mind it as much though.

There are times when it starts so quickly that I don't notice till I am smack in the middle, then I look up and think "What the heck is going on?! I'm pretty sure that my head is about to explode, but I don't know why" .... God has been working on me, and I have started to appreciate the change. Just now though, I am in one of those seasons of change, my whole family is really. Let me just tell you, it is not feeling so great. It will pass, but anyone can see that none of us will be the same. I know that I have changed over the summer, and I am still in the process. I can see my Mom in her grief, my Dad in his stress, my sister in her anxiety. It scares me to watch, but it shouldn't.

I should be excited to see the outcome. I should, but am I?

My body dislikes me. We haven't been friends for 2 years now. Y'all who have read my blog in the past know this. It retains fluid randomly. And it stays chubby no matter what I do. Now I know that marshmallow me is super cute, but come on now, this is really getting obnoxious. So to the doctor I took myself, that is another thing I could worry about. I choose not to though. I get my blood work back this afternoon. I'm gonna try so hard to just not think about it, because it's no big deal anyway, right? Of course right.

I could worry about my car, but I like the nostalgia of driving that hunk of junk van around (psh). So I won't think about that either.

I could worry about applying to nursing school, but I can hear my Mom worrying about it now, so I won't even go there.

It may sound pathetic, but I have also been praying for my husband. I don't know who he is, and I don't know when God is going to have us meet, or if I have already met him, but I can feel myself becoming discontent again...and that is not ok with me.

I won't lie...I have been worrying about life after graduation. I'm praying about it though. That's what I am getting around to really.

I have had Philippians on the brain as of late, specifically Philippians 4:6-7 - 6 "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. "

I guess this post is kind of like a giant prayer request. Full of bad grammar and missing words. That's beside the point. My family needs prayer for our changing season...you know, so we won't keel over or start murdering each other....we want to make it out alive and not insane (no more than we already are anyway). Thanks.