Stream

People are so strange. The way they think and talk and participate in life.

Most of the time I think I'd rather not even deal with them.

I am obviously not a person.

I have decided that I am taking a break from the whole human race. I'll be something else. Something less bothersome.

People as a large group irritate the ever living mess out of me. I have no patience for them.

People on an individual level though, I like those. I like to watch and listen. I like to hear their different thoughts and opinions. If I know the individual well enough then I offer my own thoughts. If those individuals find me agreeable then a friendship is formed.

Simple.

Not really.

Who ever said that any human relationship was ever simple? Hopefully no one, and if someone did then that poor imbecile may need a hug and a nap and a dose of reality.

So do I want to have people around or not? Do I want to develop relationships? Do I want to learn how to communicate with each different one?

Sure. Maybe. I don't know. I like certain aspects of every person I know. Then I start thinking about how ridiculous people can be. They get their feelings hurt. They have allergies to food you like. They say horrible things. Then I sit back. I try and put things in perspective. If I avoided people then I would be 10 kinds of miserable. I need people.

I need to have people talk to me, I need people to need me.

I feel like Nanny McPhee, "There is something you should understand about the way I work. When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go. It's rather sad, really, but there it is."

My emotions get invested so deeply in those I am around, I think..."what would my emotions do if I didn't have people....my emotions would murder me". So it's selfish, and I'm ridiculous. I guess that I am just going to have to figure out some sort of balance with these people things.


I've never been good with balance. I'm very clumsy.