Hey Y'all. Oh Nevermind. Just keep walkin'. I knew you would. Why won't you listen??!!?

I know, people who put lyrics up really should not expect anyone to read them. If it's not original to me, so I understand if you scroll right down, but I love these words. They describe how I feel. Except for that whole broken heart part.

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stop Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Timing
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Mmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It Right
And We'll Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Mmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get Than I Get

Oh You Know It'll All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

There is a pot of coffee with 6 hot cups of coffee in it. No one else is partaking, so I feel the need to drink all. Cup 2 = half way down.

I hear Christmas candy being made. It sounds yummy.

I was told that I was weekend sister, apparently I am driving some people to crazy town, sad.

I have some blue hair, and this makes my mother sad all day. In fact, she is afraid I may never get married. Sometimes I have that fear. I try and push it away. I would be a good cat lady, I won't lie. I would be very true the stereotype. However, I feel such foolish fears are too plentiful in other people already, so why should I bother over them. That's right, I shouldn't.

Sometimes I skip words when I type. I think that my brain moves faster than my hands, and I get excited and just skip words. I remind myself of a hamster. bleh.

I really never want to go back to college. So why am I attempting for this whole "teacher" thing. Well, on all of the papers I have written, I have said that I love literature and writing, so I would love to teach it. But would I? I think that parts of it, yes I would. But grammar? No. As anyone who frequently reads this blog may know, I am not a fan of proper punctuation. It is just a hassle. I like punctuation, just not proper punctuation ALL of the time, understand? So I may fail as a high school teacher, but we will see.

When Needles Stick Beetles, Your Collection May Grow.

In 18 short hours I will be done with the semester of fall, 2009. It was one of the quickest, most fun, scary, lively, boring, sad, happy semesters I have known...in college anyway.

In 48 hours I will be somewhere different. I will be with friends who are ridiculous.

I may even get to go to some place that looks like that picture.

May haps without the trees, but there will be water and sand! Of that I can promise you!!

I am so happy. Or I will be.

At this moment in time I have a stack of hot pink notecards up to my eyeballs. They have very useful information about how I am polluting the planet, and how, in a very scientific way, I can make it stop. I just may not bother with the silly things right now though. I still have a few hours...

things that remind me of things.

Sometimes I think. Not alot, not to the point of being damaged at all, but I do think. I think about people I love, and people I strongly dislike. I think of sounds, smells, tastes, and how these things make me feel.

When I hear the song "I Say a Little Prayer for You" I think of my sister, Jessica.

The song "Brothers of the Highway" makes me think of my Dad. He may not like it, but it really is a great description of the true American truck driver :)

The Smell of Sandalwood makes me think of my Aunt Glenda.

The color, Chocolate Brown makes me think of my Mom. Every time I see it.

When I smell bubble gum, my little sister, Lydia pops into my head.

The scent of Pumpkin candles, no matter what time of year it is, make me think of my sister, Bethany.

When I see sketchy, artsy comics I think of my favorite little brother, Jesse. I also think of him whenever I see tall boys on campus talking very fast about something that he finds ridiculously interesting...even when no else does. *note this HAS happened more than once.

When I smell baking cookies or hear yelps of pain, my brain jumps to my sister, Kimberly.

When I snort when I laugh I think of my Aunt Peggy. (Shout out to the only who reads my blog!!)

When I hear the word catfish I think, Joe Baxter.

When someone says "hurricane" my brain goes to Daniel Inman.

When I see "pretty boys" on campus I think of my friend, Bekah.

When I hear people talk about, or I see, or I read "Where the Wild Things Are" I think of my nephew, Isaac.

When I hear the word "cute" I think of my niece, Savannah. Not because she is cute (I won't lie, she is!!), but because she makes that word sound AWESOME.

When I hear any Bill Gather music I think of my Grandaddy and Grandmomma, that is why I like Bill Gather. Don't judge me.

When I see dirt roads and big trees, I see blissful happiness.

When I think Christmas (after thinking of Baby Jesus), I think of Mamaw and Papaw.

When I see people who are so immersed in a certain "style" (i.e. Hippy, Indie, Gangster, punk, emo, etc...), the word "fake" pops into my brain. No matter how legitimate that person may be.

The smell of Earl Gray tea makes me think of books and cold weather.

The smell of Burkes Outlet makes me think of attics, and I like that.

When I hear, see, smell, feel these things I tell the truth about think about these people or things every time. I can rarely encounter something without it making me think of something else.

And to my Mom: I know I drive you crazy. I know I have caused a large percentage of the grey hair that you have me pull out ;) but I also know that you love me, and everyone of your children. I have no idea how you had six kids and then home schooled them; and can still form understandable sentences most days!! I think that you are the greatest mom. The end. I am sorry when I yell, and go nuts on you. I hope that this year brings you more happiness than any years that have been before. I love you...Happy Birthday!

(wow that was cheesy, but I meant every word.)

Sometimes, when my tummy hurts, I think about dragons

Why do I always want to write in the wee hours of the morning? I am sleepy. I just watched three episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I probably woke my roommate up, I was laughing really hard.

I am contemplating next years living arrangements. This dorm is expensive, and I am scared to turn on the heat. I have proposed to a friend that I sleep on her couch and pay part of the rent. She actually might take me up on it. I have never had issues with sleeping on ones couch. I am never in one place long enough to really crave my own room. My mother pointed out that I always have a bed in Columbus...and that is true. Just wait till I graduate and get a big kid job and make big kid money, then I will have my own place. Until then I can just be a gypsy.

I have been praying for patience. For 3 long years I have been praying for patience. Obviously God has granted me some sort of patience because I am not pregnant.

Speaking of which; I was holding a conversation with a girl who was complaining about being "late". I asked her if there were any reason why she might be. She said she didn't know. REALLY? So I asked her if there had been boy parts near her girl parts....she said she didn't know. REALLY?????? Then she said that, yes, this had happened twice. ok. Most confusing conversation of the day.

The store where I work is now an official Mac seller. I AM A PC. I WILL NOT WEAR YOUR DUMB MAC SHIRT OR HELP YOU SELL YOUR DUMB APPLE COMPUTER, ESPECIALLY IF I DON'T EVEN MAKE A COMMISSION OFF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Idiots.

Ode to My Favorite Kidney

oh my. Just that. This week has been strange, but not in a bad way. I have actually been in a state of dizzy happiness which confuses me slightly, but when these feelings come along I tend to just take them and try not to question it. I changed my major...English? really? Teaching it? Really? To Highschoolers? yeah. I mean that's the idea. The irony in this is that I hate grammar. I tend to hate things that I do not always get correct, but that is what my brain is for. I hate many things, but you would never know that.

I got a lecture about my face (again) from this sweet old bat that I work with. Her suggestion? Pumpkin. Thanks, but I really do not have tome to be squishing up random fruits and veggies and putting them on my face. And must you really ask me about using proactive, THAT LOUDLY. I mean I am pretty sure that you have alerted everyone to the issues of my face, thanks again. The funny thing is it only upset me slightly. I guess that once I realize that this is just the way she is...I just kind of ignore her, but if you ever need your self esteem wacked in the crotch please go find Ms. Nancy, she can it for ya!

I spent a crap load of pay check today...I got payed today. wow....I really need to NOT do that, BUT I had fun. I went to the Mellow Mushroom and then to see The Men Who Stare at Goats. It would be really hard to find a movie more ridiculous, I laughed so hard. It was odd. I also bought make up (Ulta could be my new favorite store), and a new CD. Airborne Toxic Event. That is the musical treatage I am putting in my ears now. Look 'em up. Specifically: Wishing Well.

Well Hellos to You Who Hold My Shoe.

I am sitting in class. Learning about our sustainable Earth....specifically Uranium.
However, I do not feel as if I am actually learning anything. My head hurts, as does my throat. I really cannot afford to get sick.

I want to be a "that's what she said" joke for halloween. I need to find a t shirt.

Some days I just can't figure out where my life is headed, but really I suppose that in the grand scheme of things it does not matter. And that really does make me feel better.

Gremlins. Haven't seen it, but I want to.

While I have been meaning to take notes during this class..today I just cannot. I have been playing on etsy instead....and by playing I mean looking at super cool stuff that I want.

Like these:




yup. Ok. I will try and pay attention now...

The wicked witch came, but she left when she found out my creativity had already been stolen

I fell asleep at 7:30 tonight. I was listening to classical music on the local weather channel and watching Tuscaloosa traffic.
I fixed myself eggs, sausage, and bread for supper. I ended up eating the bread for dessert with nutella. The eggs came from a chicken. I mean a free chicken. The kind that get to walk around the yard. Everything was excellent.
I worked. I have been making tons of button bracelets...I have been making them, putting them on and then every time I get a compliment on one I take it off and give it to that person. Yes, I am the weird girl that gives away button bracelets to random people. However, it does seem to make them happy. Anyway, back to work. I was at work (where I have given out many bracelets) and this older lady (she shall remain unnamed, but just know...she irritates me) came up to me and asked where her button bracelet was (she works there too, by the way). I told her that I was working on making more and that I would get her one soon. She then put in an order. red, green, and purple. That was her request. Part of the joy in making these bracelets is that I just make them. No orders. But I agreed to do so...even though I don't have any red buttons...and even though that sounds like the most tacky combination ever. Figures really. oh well, I will be making a trip to Hancock's soon.
before work I had two classes. Intro to Theatre was ridiculous, as always. The people ran their slides too fast and treated us rudely when they were asked to slow down...they didn't by the way. I also had Educational Psychology. I do like this class.a.lot. I talked alot in it today. And I laughed very hard at the boy behind me who very freely volunteered his opinion about how he could not handle girls emotions...at all. When I laughed the teacher made me explain myself. That was fun. I also used my dad as an example for a critical thinker....and for someone who, like the boy behind me, could not handle the emotions of a female. My teacher told me afterward that he figured he was a lot like my dad in the fact that he sometimes over thought some things and then talked about them till the subject was well hashed over....I then realized why I could actually follow his "lectures" Thanks Daddy!
I woke up at 10:00 am. That's late for me, but I only did that cause I had gotten to bed at...4:00 am....for no good reason.


I just wrote a diary entry. I'll try not to do that much in the future, but that is just what I felt like doing.

I am going to see this play on Friday...it's required. It cost me 10 bucks..oh and did I mention: It's about aliens. Yeah. Tales of the Lost Formicans

This noise all around me almost broke the mirror

I am an unstable person.
That's scary. Why am I in the field that I am in when I am so unstable? I had it pointed out to me that I snap. I just get mad. I express my anger in an unhealthy way. It hurts so bad to hear that. I want to be angry sometimes, but that is unhealthy too. I don't ever need to be mad. Or if I do get mad, I don't need to share it...because that is when I yell. When people don't understand what I am saying or they don't understand what I am saying, I guess that I think...maybe if I say it louder, or with more passion, they might understand me. wrong. That's just me not understanding why I shouldn't be mad. People deal with me all funny. They try and tell me why I shouldn't be mad...and then I think "oh, they still don't get why I'm mad...lemme explain one more time". but guess what? That's when I get "dramatic".

Drama Queen. Do you really wanna hurt me? Call me that. "Drama Queen" means that I can't justify my actions..."drama queen" is the justification. I want to be alowd to be mad sometimes.

I am nice to people all day everyday...people who don't give a shit for me. They are are nice or they are rude...it really doesn't matter. They are people. If I'm not at my job than I am in class...you can't just talk to some random classmate about your frustrations. That would be desperate and sad.

But what's desperate and sad is when you get upset over something small. Something that hurt you feelings...or a small disagreement. Something that is just icing on the cake...or the straw that broke the camel's back. Whatever it is..it just takes your stress and your frustrations and it just opens the floodgate. You get upset. but the really screwed up thing? when You try and explain yourself to someone you hope will listen, nothing comes out right. Words don't fit into correct sentences. Then the people who you love and trust most know what's wrong. You are unstable. and a drama queen. the end.

I hurt so bad right now.
I am entirely ridiculous. God wants me to tell Him about it...I do. This is going to sound horrible, but all I really want to hear is someone telling me they get why I'm mad....that it's ok to be mad...to get it all out.Just listen.
but that would just encourage me, wouldn't it?

I am sorry.

Pray for me.

please.

I want to be normal.

My feet look like your ears.

My sister told me that she had to take me off her blog list...because I am inappropiate. It's cool though, 'cause she still loves me.

I'm thinking about changing my major.....to Special Education, but I just don't know...........

Yesterday I went out for all of half an hour without makeup on, worst decision of the day. I got a lecture on my looks from old lady, it was meant to be encouraging....I think, but it wasn't.

I really wanted to write something, but nothing is coming to me. Just stories that are of no importance.

so, I could try to make something up.
It could be about a girl. Or boy. or Fish.

let's go with fish and see how this works out.

Once upon a time there was a fish that lived in a bowl. He was a captive....if he had had things his was, he would be in a pond in some far off place. He was a thoughtful sort of fish....although he figured that's all he really could be...there wasn't much else to do, but...think.
He thought about his owner...he thought she was odd. Sometimes she would forget to feed him, sometimes she would drop things that weren't food into his bowl....and she named him ridiculous names....she seemed to change it about once a month. He disliked her.


ok. that's no working. I'll try and think of something later, but for now I need to go call me niece.

Your palms are swollen. I will never love you. Now. JUMP.

about three months ago I sat here. Typing up a ridiculous paper on Sweeney Todd. I noticed while I was typing that the veins in my hands were very noticeable. I don't like to notice my veins. this means my hands were swollen....they are swollen in the exact same way....again. as are my feet...and ankles. ew.

But really mattandkim are an inspiration to write. Some days i wish i had the nerve to strip down to nothing in public. and not be viewed as whore, but really viewed as artistic. That'll never happen, but that's what I wish most days.

I like dancing. in the dark. in the light. in the shower. in the nude. in the middle of betty drive while it's dark, with a flashlight, while it rains, in the nude. but not really...only partially....ok a bathrobe.

what about change? i hate it. Who doesn't? don't lie. I mean of course change is good most of the time, but being pushed out of one's comfort zone is never fun. (that's why they call it a "comfort zone"....um.duh.) I dislike smelling as if a coffee grinder just exploded on me, but at the same time I am going to really and truly miss the syrup splatters that are on my barista wall, yes, the ones that shouldn't be there. I hate it, but i'm excited. I hate leaving my family, friends, and enemies ('cause admit it, they are fun to dislike.....just admit it). I will miss the annoying couples...the coworkers I can officially call friends and the other people who will be moving further away. It hurts to think about it all. And if I weren't listening to such techno-pop-move music I could cry. but enough about me.....even though I am one of my favorite subjects. ok one more thing. I hope my fish can come with me. that would make things easier......or so I am telling myself.

I have decided to try not to rant for a little while....which probably won't last long, but I will try.

the idea of furry monsters makes me smile. Like "hungry" or "the wild things". i would like to be friends with them. I would like to run around like a crazy, artsy sort of person, but that just doesn't seem to fit me. I wish I fit somewhere perfectly. Actually I do, but it isn't any sort of a stereotype (unless you can think of one, please lay it on me...I'm not saying I am too good for a stereotype, I'm just saying I haven't found one yet). I sit perfectly in His hands....and I'm overjoyed by the fact that He won't drop me, He won't change. I hope I don't forget this feeling. This state of mind. This part of me. that would be the biggest tragedy. I know why I am here. I know the meaning of my existence. but I doing a horribly sloppy job of it.

Let me take you on a walk. One that will make you happy and sad and irritated. it is a walk through trees. the kind with leaves an roots. It's a walk in misty weather....where it is light until the moon takes over. It is the kind of walk that you realize how small you are. The kind that makes you feel insignificant in the grand plan. It is the kind of walk where you realize why things happen, such as death, birth, and dreams. It is the walk that you find out that you will never accomplish everything you want to. It is the kind of walk that makes you want to run so fast that you collapse in to a heap of heaving tearful sobs. The kind of walk that makes you pick yourself up and shake yourself for being so silly, small, and selfish. Keep walking. Because it makes you feel good. worthless. life-changing. partially alive. and isn't that what we hope to find? Life? I've found it. I have. I want to stay in this place. this forest. this wood. this walk.


I quit.

my apologies for leading you on.

I suppose it feels good to be a gangster

Caffeine is pulsing through me. I feel jittery.

The thoughts in my head chase one another around until I am completely confused. I couldn’t tell Mr. Todd apart from my neighbor at this point.

I get too easily upset, but to be fair my body and I aren’t getting along at the moment. And when you don’t get along with your body…bad things happen.

I probably need to be feeding it on a regular basis...and let it sleep more…. possibly take it on a few more walks, and perhaps stop letting it eat zebra cakes. Oh dear body, just wait till summer…maybe I will take care of you then.

My mind is a whole different matter. It treats me like this just to get a laugh out of people. It would do that, you know. It’s very spiteful.

EMCC, I am nearly through with you

Two years have you tortured me. Two years have you made my school life so very unpleasant. But I have learned. I have learned much.

I have learned that getting to know your teacher just well enough to kiss up in the perfect way is invaluable.

I have learned that making nothing sound intelligent is a skill that takes time to be mastered.

I have learned that giving your number to scary boys to make them go away is a bad decision, which results in having to change ones phone number.

I have learned that some boys are stupid to the point of needing to be shot…in the knee of course, we’ll not go so far as murder.yet.

I have learned things that have grossed me out and made me question humanity.

I have learned that I know more than my Western Civ. Teacher…oh Mr. C. to be rid of you will be a shining day open my history. I have learned that you, Mr. C., are a douche bag…and not the good kind.

I have learned that I love psychology and sociology….and that’s why I’m going into something business related.

Hello mister sunshine.

I can smell summer when I drive now. I am listening to more country, which is a sure sign that summer is approaching.

However I have run across some songs that disagree with my stomach. Such as the BS one about a flower. He sounds like a real loser. Let me pick it apart for a moment.

red roadside wild flower if I'd only picked you
Took you home set you on the counter
Oh, at least a time or two
Maybe she'd thought it through.

-um no. do really think that that is going to work? You didn’t hold her when she was upset? You didn’t watch the sunset with her? You didn’t attempt at making her laugh? Really? What did you do? You are selfish. You got that right. And no one likes you. Sometimes the truth hurts, man in the song, sometimes it hurts.

I do hope at times that I make the right decisions

But I try to pray about everything that I do…so that should beat off my worries of making the decision.

I trip a lot though. Mentally, spiritually, physically.

And I am still awake. Which means something is wrong.

I can fall asleep anywhere, no matter what….until now…and that one time…on the couch that was a foot too small.

8 o’clock class, how I love thee, let me count the ways.

I am reminded of my child hood. When I sat at the edge of a pond. It was sunny. I had very blonde hair…which was very long.

I need a haircut. With the mindset I am in I will probably go find some scissors and get to choppin’. Let’s pray I fall asleep first.

I wish I could get my degree in redneck studies, Dad. No joke. I hope that my cap doesn’t really upset you either, cause contrary to popular belief, I don’t like to upset you.

I skipped supper again. Stupid.

Time to wash my face, brush my teeth…and get up in……..4 hours……

Work is gonna rock tomorrow. Rock harder than Ozzy at a Spears concert.

But here’s something else I wonder about: pickle jars. And bird houses. And when the empty jar will get returned…and then filled with birdseed. And sometimes I wonder if cab drivers will let you leave your birdhouse in their cab until they come back and pick you up.because they should..so it will freakin be out of my line of vision.

Working with people has made me rude. I should probably have a job where I just work with paper and cardboard boxes.

There is a toad sitting in a jar on my table. I hate toads. Ever since I stepped out of my car with bare feet that one summer night…and the sole of my foot hit the back of the toad…and it made that noise…and I screamed..and had to wash guts off my foot…I have hated them. Why the freak is it on my table?

Goodnight.

You are bleeding on my good day, would you please wrap that up and leave.

I have decided to share some shtuff with you...as I sit here with my full bladder and my racing mind.

Here is a dictionary of some coffee terms you may want to familiarize yourself with (these are in Melissa speak..so please bear with me).

Latte: Espresso, lots of steamed milk topped off with some foam (add flavor...it's yum)

Cappuccino: ( you probably won't like this, but I could be wrong) espresso, a wee bit o' steamed milk, and a great lot o' foam. (do NOT complain to me about your drink not having enough milk in it. I will laugh at you. Besides, I probably tried to explain it to you at the cash register.)

Mocha: Espresso, steamed milk, chocolate, whipped cream (it comes in the white variety as well)

Iced lattes and mochas are NOT the same as FROZEN. Iced is OVER ICE. Frozen is BLENDED. duh

Americano: Espresso and hot water (iced is very good..to me)

Espresso: Very concentrated coffee. It's strong. It's small. IT'S MAGNIFICENT. 

Coffee: If you don't know what this is, please go to subway.

------- I truly don't mind if you don't know what you want when you come in...I don't mind if you don't know what these drinks are (except for coffee...get a life and then come back to see me), but do NOT get mad at me for giving you what you ORDERED. 

I am a patient person. I am. 

By the way...I wrote an ode to the loaded baked potato that my boss brought me tonight. It was that good. However Laura said I sounded like I was on drugs...so perhaps I will just keep it to myself. 

goodnight.

today, I lied.

I scrobbled on some paper for a speech today. I didn't admit to doing it, in fact I told the class that two other people scribbled it for me.

I won. Apparently if you are REALLY nice the toilet seat gets put back down.

I made a 94 on the speech in which I lied.

This weekend is going to be the be AMAZING. No, I mean REALLY AMAZING. No work!!! Crawfish boil!!!

Friday sucked major, by the way.

I would like to find a job that is not in customer service. also I wish that society and culture would butt out of my life.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE is gonna be such a good movie.

I am kind of in love with this guy.







gotta go to western civ. 2. poop.

HEY! What are you doing to my cat?!

.........
Good morning, school.

First day back from spring break. The alarm doesn't go off so I missed my first class. Second class got cancelled. Here I sit waiting on the third and final class for today....

Some days I wish that I had a totally different life and personality.
Some days I love who I am completely.

Spring break was AWESOME. I didn't really go anywhere....except for Tuscaloosa, but still being totally free of school makes me ridiculously happy.

So what did I do with myself, you may ask. Good question!! I watched an unhealthy amount of movies, went out to eat, worked, went to thrift stores (NOT BY MY CHOICE. This sort of thing is popular with mothers of large families who enjoy things such as "bargins" aka other people's stuff....that is gross. None the less I had a good time.), made cake, looked at chickens, watched tv, and made a sloth of myself.

More. to, post. soon. but. the. creative. juices. refuse. to. flow. so. I'm. off.

I'm gonna talk dirrty to ya (yeah, I used the double 'r')

Few people have inspired me to write in a very long time. Normally I write out of silly teenage angst...or something similar. Today however, I am dedicating this blog to two very special people.

As a female I feel that toilet seats should remain down at all times. 

The only time it should be up while I am in the bathroom is if I am cleaning it...and then I put it up...and back down.

I have a deep hatred for touching toilet seats. Truly, I do. 

Look fellas, we ladies put up with a whole lot. Or at least I do. I can up with you making fun of me. I can handle the fact that you make me feel oogy sometimes, I can take your corny jokes...I can even put up with your quips about my untonedness (new word anyone?) but I REALLY, REALLY cannot put up with you leaving the toilet seat up.

Let me tell you a little story. This story is about a girl who drank a whole lot of sweet tea ('cause she's from the south) and whole lot of water ('cause she pretends she can be healthy). This girl didn't relieve her self for a while....we're talkin' like 8 hours. The girl finally decided that she needed to pee. So she ran to the restroom...and FELL IN THE FRIGGIN TOILET!!

Let me tell you another little story. This story is about the same girl. She went to bed as humans usually do....and woke up to find that she really had to urinate....so she got up...didn't bother to turn on the lights...and FELL IN THE TOILET.

Needless to say this chick was highly pissed off both times. Two dear men did this to her. Left the toilet seat up, I mean, two different times, in two different houses.

Speaking about a traditional home, the male gathers the food, the female cooks the food, cleans the house, and has the children. Honestly I am not saying that my job is any harder than the man's, but isn't he supposed to be a gentleman? If I ask real nice for you put the toilet seat down, why won't you??

I hereby make a solemn vow that I will be incredibly sweet and nice to you, if you will but leave the toilet seat down. I will not even make a comment on the stench of the bathroom after you exit, if you will just put the toilet seat down.

 I love you, but i will live up to the reputation I have gathered if you continue to inflict this pain upon me.

I am capable of you're worst fears. 

Here stands your warning.

talent is for silly beings.

I have had a week of days.

Days that are all the same.

I work in a place that makes me fat. I will get fired when I cannot fit behind the counter anymore. Than I will never get married because of my weight, but I will write a book about that. Hopefully it will sell millions and I will get to be on Oprah. 

I was doing so well today....but there was red velvet cake at work.

Sometimes I have very odd thought patterns. I took the pump out of an almost empty chocolate container and drizzled the chocolate all over the bottom of the sink. I thought that it would be pretty. it was. 

I wish that sometimes I knew things.

I am quite bored, sadly. I wish that I weren't.

I hate the computers at school.

No youtube, urbandictionary, or myspace. I AM GOING INSANE.

This is like a slice of hell. People will be tortured here. People ARE tortured here.