Love is What You Need.

Well, well, well.
You look rather bored.
What better way to cure your boredom than by stopping by here to get healthy dose of "pathetic girl".
If that is not what you wanted, you best move along to a poetry blog...or perhaps one of those cute ones with cake and make-up.

I warn you, this is going to sound completely and utterly ridiculous. Not only does it sound this way, but it is this way.

What better way to kill these feelings than by blogging about it? I didn't know either. The pink lemonade vodka did not seem to help.

"Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride." Those are stupid words that no one pays attention to, but since I like to have those days where I just feel bad about myself, I choose to listen to those words...just for tonight.
I participated in my third wedding as a bridesmaid today. I was the Maid of Honor, does that make a difference? Most likely not.
As the Bride walked down the aisle, bawling her eyes I just watched. As I walked up and stood behind her to take her bouquet, I felt silly. I felt out of place. I felt like a child playing an adult's role. I always feel this way. Never as an actual player in the game though, I always feel like a spectator. just watching. I watched the groomsmen sweat and stare at their feet. I watched the bridesmaids shifting from one foot to another. I watched to congregation look on in admiration. I watched the back of the Bride's head bob up and down in quick nods to each question asked of her. I watched as the Groom began to cry.
I felt like I needed to be doing something, but I already was. I was holding his ring. I had a purpose up there. Just set the ring on the Pastor's book. Simple. That and fix her dress.
The whole thing was beautiful. My feet fell asleep, and I got dragged very ungracefully back up the aisle and out of the church to take pictures. But they were beautiful, and so happy.
It was done.
They are married.
Did I do that? People asked if I felt responsible for the whole thing. I did introduce them a year ago, but Did I Do That? No. So stop asking, stop congratulating me. I had nothing to do with it.

Here comes the pathetic part.....

You know what? I don't feel like being pathetic anymore.

I thought that is why I sat down to write this blog.

It was going to sit here and weep and type about how I still like him, about how he will never like me, about how I need some serious mental help (no really, I do). However, today was not about me.
Today was about them.
They will be happy together. They are perfect for one another.
I could not have planned that.

Congratulations.
However much I have said, they know that in the end....I like them.

How Odd You Are

Here we have it. I have ignored this poor little page for a month. I feel almost guilty.

I wish that I could tell you that I have simply been too busy, or that I have been feeding chickens for the entire time, but those things are not true. So I shan't lie...yet.

I have been carrying home the distinct odor of coffee every afternoon.

I have been trying and failing at working out.

I have made a penis cake that looked nothing like a penis.

I have been saving my tips in a mason jar.

I have been treated as if I am still 12, and I am still being treated as such.

I have managed to irritate every single person I have been around in the time span of an hour.

I have eaten two cheddar jalapeño bagels. One with butter, the other with cream cheese. It is better with cream cheese.

I have managed to kill my more vehicle.

I have gotten my hair cut.

I have played football.

I have jammed my finger.

I have bruised my leg.

I have begun to reread an old book.

I have gotten a new trackball for my phone.

I have washed clothes.

I have cried.

I have yelled.

I have laughed.

I have danced.

I have had obscene amounts of coffee.

I have plucked.

I have collected 76 beer bottle caps for my friend to make an artsy thing with.

I have wanted to sleep more.

I promise I will post something interesting soon.